I am wide awake at 2.15 AM on the 5th of July, a week before my big day and all I can think of is the fear that is gripping me.
Many incidents in the last few months have reminded me that all I've ever been is selfish, more selfish and most selfish! And I look around to see all these wonderful, amazing people who care so so much about me and I am not even able to repay them even with kind and understanding words.
I am afraid of hurting someone in the process of protecting myself! I become extremely defensive and helpless. I feel like a child who has been protected all these years and suddenly there is responsibility thrust on me....i dunno if i can handle it! And its not like I havent tried sharing this feeling with someone, I have but everybody has their own problems and I dont wanna be a burden on them, not to mention that the words simply wont flow from my mouth!
I want to be strong.....I just hope GOD can give me that when it is needed the most!!
