Furiosity

Getting angry is not good for one's health. I know it only too well cos everytime i get angry I get a headache and my stomach hurts a lot! Inspite of knowing the ill effects anger has on me, i seem to get angry quite quickly! Its takes a lot out of me and it takes a lot of time for me to cool down. I end up badgering myself everytime i get angry. It has become worse of late.

I guess I need some thing to redirect it and make all the josh that comes with it useful. I need to channel it in the right direction.
Ha! just writing about this helps! I am already feeling better :)

Wow!!

Talk about going for a loooong drive spontaneously. Drive we did and guess where we landed!! BANDIPUR baby!! It was awesome! We started at 7 AM on a lazy saturday, went to Mysore irst. On the way had breakfast at Lokaruchi. Did some sutting in Mysore and then decided to go to Bandipur. Perfect weather, some melodious song playing in the background, the mood was perfect.

Anyway we got on to the Safari bus which took us into the reserve. Since we were the first ones in the queue, we got to sit next to the driver and hence the first ones to spot any animal :). It was so calm, peaceful and quiet. Saw lot of cute deer, sambar and lots of peahens an peacocks. Was hoping to see a tiger, have never seen one in the wild! Didnt get to see one this time too :(. But spotted a massive kite, with a huge wing span!! Simply breathtaking. Then the icing on the cake, saw a herd of elephants, with 2 kuttis playing with water, the kinda things you only get to see on discovery channel. Saw lot more deer after that, so many , so many!!

Headed back to bangalore. Was dog tired at the end of the day!

All in all, a great day!! :)
PS: The "WE" in this post is obviously my Hubby and me :)

soliloquoy

I am wide awake at 2.15 AM on the 5th of July, a week before my big day and all I can think of is the fear that is gripping me.



Many incidents in the last few months have reminded me that all I've ever been is selfish, more selfish and most selfish! And I look around to see all these wonderful, amazing people who care so so much about me and I am not even able to repay them even with kind and understanding words.



I am afraid of hurting someone in the process of protecting myself! I become extremely defensive and helpless. I feel like a child who has been protected all these years and suddenly there is responsibility thrust on me....i dunno if i can handle it! And its not like I havent tried sharing this feeling with someone, I have but everybody has their own problems and I dont wanna be a burden on them, not to mention that the words simply wont flow from my mouth!



I want to be strong.....I just hope GOD can give me that when it is needed the most!!

Fear

What do I do when I am afraid of so many things at the same time? Stand up and face it? Easier said than done, but I can try!

Coo

How many times have I heard a cuckoo cooing but till this dayI haven't been able to spot even one!! I know they look like crows but if one looks in the direction of the sweet voice one wud expect to see the creature behind the beautiful voice. I am very surprised by this.

Time to spot a cuckoo is what i think! :)

Huh!!??

Today's fortune:
You and your wife will be happy in your life together.

Apparently my fortune for the day according to orkut!! :-S They could have atleast written some code to make the wife husband based on my sex! Ohkay....i am asking for too much arent i?

Today was one of the BAD days for me! Bad traffic everywhere! Got totally irritated. Doesnt help if ppl wanna talk to you when i am like this or they crack some silly jokes when u r in no mood for one!!! Sense the tone ppl!!!

Mood: frustrated!

Rain

Why is rain associated with depression and something that has gone horribly wrong with a person? Watch any movie and there is always a scene where a depressed/sad person walks in the rain!

I dont think rain is depressing at all, its fun, it breathes fresh life into the earth... the smell of the first rain is heavenly. Its always awesome to go home completely drenched, dry urself, sit with a hot cup of chai and stare outside at the pouring rain, not to mention the next day u can call in sick ;) I dont know, maybe i like rain cos i am a july child :)

hmmmm.....

How do you decide when to walk away and when to stand up and face a situation?

Actions

I was watching a tv show where they mentioned Doers and others. Well Doers do things, talk less and reap results, whether they are good or bad depends on what they did. They also have goals, have plans to achieve their goals and put their plans into actions. How is a person judged in this world? Is it thru actions or what he/she says? I think its the former.

Digressing a bit...what if a person gives control of his/her life to someone else? Does it become easier or more difficult? In one sense it becomes easier cos then you are not responsible for your own actions and if things were to go horribly wrong, one can conviniently put the blame on someone else. But the very fact that it was the very same person who gave the control to someone else means that the person himself/herself is responsible.
So coming back...remember Actions, Actionize and more importantly be cerebral! (borrowed word from dad's dictionary :) )

Finally finished reading a book. Gosh it has been 2 yrs since i finished reading a novel that I started. Sad...very sad! I used to go at the rate of 3 or 4 Nancy Drew's a day. Why am I not into reading that much? Why cant I get past page 20?? :( I need fast moving books, no tv, no phone and no internet. Next book I wanna read: Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austin.

Noddy

Ever so often I find myself nodding to things ppl say without even being aware of what i am nodding to! Little do they know that I am completely lost when i do that. This does not augur well for me at all, I can get myself into serious trouble cos of this without even realizing it. So I've decided to take serious note of this, lest I end up regretting something! This got me thinking as to why i do that? Yes, it is very much possible that I am slowly but surely going deaf. On so many occassions I've asked ppl to repeat what they say. Sometimes I get what they say and on numerous other times I give up and just nod along. I should probably improve my comprehension skills. But sometimes I blame the ppl who talk to me, I mean how on earth can they expect me to understand them when they are sitting some 100 yards away in a crowded place and mumble something to themselves!? During these times, I just nod along to help them (I may not actually BE helping them out) to prevent them from screaming their head off. There is another scenario, something that I hate personally. Lets say a group of 5 or more ppl go out somewhere and I end up sitting in the corner(this happens to me a lot, that's probably cos the others face the same problem and have gotten smarter and they occupy the middle seats(this also has its own disadvantages btw)). So I am sitting in the corner and ppl start making smaller sub groups and start chatting away. Of course since i am not involved i start to keep myself busy with my thots and suddenly out of the blue if ppl turn to me and ask me a question, I really dont know what to say cos hey! I wasnt even listening. But in order to avoid getting thrashed, i have to say something and i end up saying a simple yes or no. Of course if the question is not such a question which requires a yes/no, I get caught and have to sheepishly admit to preoccupation with my thots!
Therefore I have to either
a) sharpen my listening skills or
b) develop a unique "Nod" that would stand for both a yes and a no in which case, if I see someone shocked by my reaction, i can always claim to be doing the opposite!! :) :D

which one is easier??

Alternate career paths?

Ok, I am reading this book, a thriller based on real life incidents and it got me thinking if people as described in the book exsist in reality! The characters in the book are so spectacular, it makes me want to be one of them. They are always in the thick of action, specializing in espionage, counter espionage and what not! They kick some serious ass! Maybe I should have been a spy, on similar lines of a certain Ms Sydney Bristow in Alias(of course she is not real). How cool would that have been?! Smart, brave, smooth talking, ass kicking hot chick! Of course this being a fictious character, has no flaw at all. But there is a downside to this. Chances of dying a natural death are very remote and there can be no friends or family( how dull is that!? Even if there were, they would be in grave danger I suppose).

Btw we know that the Americans have CIA and Pakistanis have ISI as their intelligence agencies. what is the Indian intelligence agency called? Are they so good that they have cleverly managed to hide their identity or is it that there is not one, but many such agencies and hence the credit cannot be given to just one agency?

I can confidently say that I wont be having such an exciting career. So I was thinking what else is as exciting but far less dangerous? And voila, how about being a football star!!??( the reason I chose football over cricket is cos cricket is a lil dull and boring and has less money in it and tennis is just an individual sport, there is no such thing as team spirit at all which is kinda boring)
Playing on a football field where millions of fans go wild every other week for powerful, rich and famous clubs like say MANU or Chelsea would result in generous amounts of Adernaline kicking in!
One can run, kick, dive, celebrate wildly and do lots of crazy things and all this will be part of my job!! But sadly I have to admit I dont have the stamina or the physical strength to play against 11 such bullies for 90 odd minutes.
In the end I have come to the conclusion that being what I am gives me the opportunity to dream abt such things and even write about them(even though they are a lil far fetched)! So me is very content :)

Irony

Rama and Sita are considered to be the ideal couple in Hindu mythology, but we all know about the hardships they had to endure. They did not "Happily live ever after". Is it becos they remanined true to one another always? I think I'm missing something.

Tiny dancer

Love this song by Elton John! Its just fabulous!!
Oh and I finally listened to Stairway to heaven! Loved it too! :)

Life...

Heard the following line was quoted by the lead singer of the band Moksha who is no more apparently!!
"Life is a sexually transmitted disease"
Come to think of it, it cannot be more true sometimes.

Shakespeare

Was having a casual conversation with friends about English grammar and I realized that Shakespeare is the only English playwright/poet/writer/actor that i know! Maybe I know some more ppl, it still hasnt dawned on me yet!!

Baby smell

Just love the way they smell. Esp after a bath. They smell of johnson's baby powder :) I'll go buy one today!!

Lok Sabha

The Lok Sabha representing the Indian people is a very funny place. Where else can one see politicians throwing punches at each other! Poor speaker has a very tough time managing the rouge MPs of our nation. Today I witnessed one such episode on tv. It was hilarious!

Tatha's bureau

My tatha's bureau(cupboard) was the object of my childhood curisoity! I always always used to wonder what he kept in it!! He used to always open only one door and do some thing or the other, what he did I still dont know, but I always wanted to peek and see what treasure it held.
So after he died, we i.e. all his grandchildren held a grand ceremony to open the old, ancient (one belonging to the British Raj days) Burma teak wood cupboard. And boy oh boy did it smell only of napthalene and nothing else! But my tatha being my tatha was extremely neat and organized. What we found left us very disppointed cos it had only some papers which my astrologer tatha used as reference material, papers he used to keep track of who owed him how much money and whom he owed money. Of course we also found some of his cute hats and walking sticks and coats that he proudly wore only when he went to the US! :)

Coming to the cupboard itself, well what i can say, it is my tathas and has been in our family for the last 60 years!! It is an antique piece which today is standing very nicely in my bedroom. It still smells of napthalene and reminds me of my tatha so much! :) Hats off to those carpenters for giving it such a fabulous finish. It is incredible!! And I am proud that we i.e. my sis and me dint let my pati sell it off to some one else! :)

Cool family

I've always loved my family. Find them the coolest! Of course we fight quite a bit but then we laugh together even more!! Nowadays I have become so bold/open about so many things even with my dad around(was always more comfortable with mommy dearest)!

I have the funnest time at the dinner table, we talk abt everything and anything under the sun!
I have even started telling them about which guy is cute, who is hitting on me, who i have a crush on and so on. Gosh we even discuss sex!!

I guess all these are signs of me growing up and my parents being more my friends than my parents! Thanks mom and dad! Hugs! :-)

They are not gonna read this but still.....

Walking into things....

Ever since I was a child, I have always overlooked nah...never looked where I was walking or running! As a result I have fallen down innumerable number of times, bruising my knee, legs, feet, elbows(cos I used them to break my fall) and yeah well that's it!

During my post childhood days i.e. after 7th std I used keep walking into things like a cot or sofa or chairs, desks and what not. Of course my poor little toes bore the brunt of my stupidity and inability to see things as i walk!

So I decided to follow my mom's advice of "kaalallu kannu irbeku". I decided to look before I walked anywhere, with the result that my upper portion of my body was now being neglected. Here are a few instances of how they were neglected....

1) One day I was walking in my office, people had drawn very beautiful rangolis cos of some Onam or something, So I thot I'll avoid stamping them and walked straight into a switchboard instead!! The pain I felt in my shoulder was unbearable!! I had to grin and bear it!

2) I was in a lift, a transparent one at that(this again in office). I was just looking at how uglyly(if there is such a word) my feet were tanned. For this I had to bend a little bit, not noticing the glass case of the lift which was right there in front of me!! So I did bend and ended with a huge bump on my head!

I now have a major problem at hand, I seriously lack leg n eye coordination! I need some help!

Sign language

I was sitting in the doctor's shop and as usual I was observing people and their actions(this being my fav timepass and reason why i never get bored when I am alone in a public place!) But this time I saw something very different, I have never come across a deaf n dumb family, well the family sitting in front of me was.
To say that I was fascinated by the sign language they used to communicate is an understatement!! I mean they made it look so easy! I picked up a few signs myself!! :) ( I dunno why I am so proud of this!!)
But this then got me thinking as to how eeeeasy it is for the normal people to communicate with each other, something we take for granted! Well I am glad i can scream my head off whenever i want!
To end this post on a lighter note, I remember how one of my classmate's in NCJ during PUC had caused peels of laughter to erupt when asked what was the importance of communication and language by the lecturer.
He said something like this and I quote "Well if there is a hot chick walking on the street and a friend n I are stranded at opposite ends of the street, instead of waving to my friend frantically and getting all excited, I can just casually walk across the street and just say check out the chick dude!" Well the lecturer was obviously stunned into silence! :) I dont think she ever asked that question again! :)

Chaos a.k.a Banashankari

One has to see it to believe how horrible this place can be! I have seen worse places in Bangalore, but this junction takes the cake! I mean traffic rules are flouted left, right and center! That NOBODY follows them is a gross understatement! Traffic lights being ignored, pedestrians happily crossing the road without fearing for their lives, thousands of buses honking away to glory, 2 wheelers zig zagging across merrily, u can think of the worst possible scenarios and u have them all at this junction! It is pain to commute to this place daily, as to why I even go to this place to catch my bus is a different story altogether!
I mean just imagine if people could somehow drive over ur head, they would do that also here! Really pathetic!
Btw today is salary day! I am already happy! :)

Finally made it!

After being taunted to a certain extent by my sweet friends to create a blog I've finally arrived! But I should come up with a better name for my blog. Nothing flashed, so have named it using a saying that has the meaning of my name. Sounds very geekish I know. I need to find one cool name asap. Any suggestions anyone?